EXPOSED CROTCH   *embarrassing stories

The car wash

 The year was....ah shit who knows.  I know I was about 18-20 years old, living in Howell, MI and driving my 1992 maroon grand am.  I'm not sure how everyone else time frames their life, but I like to do it with cities lived and cars owned.  It's easy for me.  And among other oddities and bad habits, I also tend to ramble.  Can you tell?  Anyways, Howell had this quarter car wash, and I mean a quarter car wash.  No soap, no brush, no wax, just a power-washer(hot and high-pressured water).  Being the frugal (cheap) person that I am, I would frequent this car wash.  And across the street was a drive-thru wash with free vacuums.  Pretty smart right?  Wash the outside, vacuum the inside for next to nothing.  I thought I was so smart.

  It was one of those days just made to wash your car.  Which in my opinion, is the grown-ups version of running through a sprinkler on a hot and sticky day.  I obviously wasn't the only person with same idea due to the amount of vehicles waiting to be washed that day.  So I picked a lane (the slow one of course) and waited patiently for my turn.  By the time I was up, the line had grown to three to four cars behind mine, and I mean right behind me.  Everything was going smoothly as I washed the months of dirt off of my car when my time ran out.  Understanding ahead a time that this might be a two quarter job I was prepared.  I set the hose down on my trunk, grabbed another quarter from the change tray in my car, and inserted it into the machine.  At no point did I think about the fact that this particular car wash has a very (extremely) short time delay on the water release.  Just as I got to the trunk of my car and reached for the hose, it jumped up and swung around like some pissed off snake.  It moved too quick and I wasn't able to get a hold of the handle, so I did what I could and grabbed the hose.  I'm still not sure if this was that good of an idea, because it seemed to piss it off even more.  For the next few seconds I dodged its attack on my face in between the beat down it was laying down on my car.  When I finally got it under control (unscathed) I was able to notice all the people that might have just witnessed my stupidity.  I didn't notice anyone straight out laughing, but it happen so quickly, they might have been still registering it.  Needless to say I played it off as if I meant to do it, or as if it didn't happen.  You know all cool like.  Well it goes without saying that I finished cleaning my car, and got the fuck out of dodge.  I didn't even stop to vacuum because that was within eye-shot. I really miss that car wash.